vacation is over.

Hey, y’all, I’m back! I decided to take a few months off of WW, in order to focus on bigger things in my life. We recently bought a house, so all of my brainpower—including point counting—needed to be put there.

It’s been quite a journey. Stressful, joyful, exciting... We’ve run the gamut of emotions over the past three months. I think we’ve finally settled in enough that I can focus on myself and my weight loss. Wahoo!

My last weigh in was at 185. I’ve been waffling between 187 and 189. (not too shabby, considering the amount of take out we consumed!) I don’t want to see it climb any higher. It’s time I take charge of my eating habits and push the scale numbers DOWN (where they belong).

The next WW series I can join starts in a month. Between now and then, I plan on managing my points myself (well, with eTools) and attempting to up my exercise.

I’m also going to start twittering my journey. Many of you have been kind enough to follow my progress, and have sent lovely notes about your own WW experiences. I felt this would be a great way to keep everyone in the loop of my successes (and failures). I will post recipe ideas, daily struggles, and thoughts on my progress. Feel free to jump in on the discussion; follow me @jen_on_WW.

(week 29). two pounds away from being overweight!

I am celebrating today. I am a mere TWO POUNDS from being classified as “overweight”. Why is that awesome? Well, for the past several years, I’ve been considered “obese”, and I’m VERY excited to change that very soon.

*sigh* I can’t even remember the last time I was one-eighty-something! Maybe when I got engaged, back in 2005? Wow. 6 years...

I had made a rule very early on in this process to not become obsessive about weighing in; there would be no daily scale-stepping for me. So that thinking eventually evolved into just not weighing in at all until Thursdays.

Of course, I was tempted by my mother-in-law’s scale this past Tuesday. I’ve had a rough few weeks, to be honest. I really didn’t expect much from this week’s weight loss, so I was beside myself when I saw 188 flash on the scale. In fact, I screamed! LOL.

I took particular care to not wear weighty clothes (hello, summer dress!) this morning. I was DETERMINED to at least maintain Tuesday’s results. As I stepped on the scale, 187.6 flashed! I LOST 4 POUNDS THIS WEEK! That’s almost 33 pounds since starting this, and about 50 since having Noah. That’s a lot to lose.

What does that look like? A little something like this:


I’d like to leave you with a quote I heard in my WW meeting today, as it is not only completely true, but giggle-worthy:

“Diet helps you look good in clothes. Exercise helps you look good naked.”

(week 28). losing again...

Not going to go into a long post about this, but I lost 1.6 pounds this week. Very happy that I’m getting back on track.

(week 27). eating my feelings (a setback).

I’ve temporarily lost my positivity. At least, I hope it’s a temporary loss. It’s weird how it seemingly came out of nowhere. (Or did it?)

A few weeks ago, my hair started coming out. Not in small amounts, either.

Oy. Of course it didn’t stop there. The ordinary (and not so ordinary) stresses started piling up, and before I knew it, I felt like I couldn’t handle anything.

When I started to stress out, I found myself reaching for a snack. Of course I didn’t count the points… it was a Red Vine here, or a few Doritos there… before I knew it, a small stash had formed in my bedside table.

I finally went to the doctor last week, and we ran a battery of tests. Anemia, thyroid, you name it, we looked into it.

Those tests came back today, and everything was “normal”. Of course, I was re-diagnosed with post-partem depression and anxiety. I’ve had bouts with both in the past, and neither has ever been as intense or as seemingly hopeless as it is now. It’s as if there are two parts to me; one that is overseeing things, trying to tell me how to make it through, while the other is actually living it, unable to hear what’s being said. It’s just such a disconnected feeling.

The doctor said that because I’m a naturally happy person, I feel the need to be “on” for everyone else, all the time, and I don’t let myself have bad days. I’ve now reached the point where I can’t turn myself back “on”.

I’m listless and tired, which is no good when you’re trying to motivate yourself to work out. (Wait, what’s motivation?!)

I don’t want to weigh in tomorrow, I’ll be honest. I don’t want to know what the scale says. I don’t want to see how the snuck snacks affect my scale numbers. But I need to. It may bring me down, but hopefully it helps wake me up. There are so many reasons that I started losing weight, and I can’t lose sight of it. I can’t let myself continue down the path of depression.

Not to make light of this, but I’m reminded of something from How I Met Your Mother: “I’m never sick. When I feel myself getting sick, I just become awesome instead.” That’s what I need to do. I need to find my “awesome”.

Oh, and about the hair thing: because the tests came back normal, it’s likely that it’s stress-related. According to Dr. D, if you count back about 3 months, you’ll find your stressor. For me, it was my son going into the hospital. Makes total sense…

Have you dealt with anxiety or depression? How did you get through it?

(week 26). Best. Lunch. EVER.

I am very lucky to work at a place that has not one, but two cafeterias. True, it could work against me (a pizza bar? Hamburgers and fries and gravy-covered goodness?! NOM.) but I have learned to find the better Points Plus values to maximize my food intake.

While I occasionally stop by the salad bar, THIS is what I usually feast on, for 5 POINTS PLUS:


Grilled chicken breast (5), broccoli (0) and mushrooms (0). Add in some A1 sauce (0) and a diet soda (0), and I’m set! Fortunately, this only takes up 1/6th of my daily Points Plus allotment, leaving many PPs left to splurge on dinner and snacks. (Oh, the broccoli gets switched out for a sweet potato occasionally, but the few additional PPs are worth it.)

(week 25). the voyage was very bon…

enjoying our first trip away at sea.

Wow, y’all, the cruise was amazing! We had a very lovely five days aboard the Carnival Ecstasy relaxing, resting, and of course... EATING! To truly celebrate my weight loss, I didn’t count a single point all week. I kept good eating choices in the back of my mind, but this was MY TIME to indulge, if I chose.

biggest indulgence: chocolate melting cake.

To offset that, I was going to use the on-board gym. Honestly—other than the initial tour—I never made it. (I got as far as the spa and then stopped, LOL!) BUT, we used the stairs A LOT (thanks mostly to annoying kids who pushed EVERY BUTTON) and walked the length of the ship often. During our excursion, we traipsed the grounds of Mayan ruins in 100 degrees, or plowed through sandy beaches (a workout in itself!). I more than got my 30 minutes of exercise each day, I think.

That’s probably a good thing, though, because the food could have really set me back. As our cruise director pointed out, you could have 14 meals a day, and it’d all be FREE! The buffet was always open, including a 24-hour pizzeria, the dining room had extended hours, and room service was always included! We tried it all.

lobster and shrimp. ooh la la.

Oh, and the drinks?! Wow. Very fruity, very fun, and very full of alcohol. I can see why Carnival calls themselves the party ships.

resting on the beach. in a bathing suit. GOAL!

Seriously, Alex and I had a fantastic vacation, and were so grateful for the break from it all. (Though we missed our little Noah terribly!)

the bares enjoying the last night of their vacation.

As soon as we hit Galveston, it was back to business as usual. I prepared myself for a gain this week, and was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the WW scale: I lost 3.2 pounds! Hello, 190!

The numbers are encouraging for sure, but the fact that people around me are noticing my shrinking self is awesome. I’ve really appreciated everyone’s kind words… THANK YOU!

(week 23). the truth about numbers.

A few days ago, I promised to post my actual weight. (You can read the backstory here)

I'm a woman of my word. I'm proud to announce...

I'm 193!

Let's look beyond the number, though.

At my highest weight (pregnancy), I was 234. I lost 14 pounds before joining WW. I've since gone on a 27-pound journey, totaling over 40 in the past year.

Other fun facts about my weight loss: As a 5'6" female, I had a 35.5 BMI. Today, I'm a 31. Every day I lose weight, I am regaining a part of my life. I'm getting HEALTHY. I find myself with more stamina (perfect for keeping up with a toddler!), and of course, self-confidence. My clothes don't fit (which you'd THINK would be awesome, but it's fairly frustrating) and my feet seem to have shrunk about a half-size. Hah.

It's because of my success that I'm able to be so open with you all. Hell, even if I didn't lose another pound, I could look back on what I've accomplished so far, and have one heck of a smile on my face. But it's definitely not been without it's ups and downs.

For example, getting to weigh in this morning was a bit of a pain. I consider WW the ONE thing I treat myself to during my work week. I get up from my desk, go downstairs and for one hour, I surround myself with people venturing on a very similar journey. It's strangely cathartic to discuss your problems and progress. I love it.

Even still, other things get in the way. I flew in and flew out without even processing what the scale said. I just checked my sheet; I lost almost a pound. :happy:

I'm thrilled to be at 193, but am striving for lower numbers on the scale. I was 150 when I went to college in Texas, and 135 in Kansas. That may be a little low for me now, so 145-150 is what I'm shooting for, broken into smaller increments. I can do that!

Now, who's brave enough to share THEIR numbers?

(week 22.5). pizza pardners

The thing I love the most about blogging is the interaction with my readers. While comments don't always get left on blogspot, I have many of you commenting on my facebook page, emailing me and the like.

Yes, I started this blog for myself, to keep me on track and motivated. I can look back months (and even years) to see how far I've come. But more than that, others are getting something from my journey.

I received a particularly touching note today from an old friend. Alison and I worked together at Pizza Hut FOREVER ago. (almost 10 years ago, by now...) She was—and still is—an amazing person, and I am so proud to call her a friend. These days, she's a Notre Dame graduate, studying law and is engaged to an awesome man. ...I could go on, but let's get to her note:

Alison: Hey Jen! I just wanted to say I've read your blog, and it inspired me to get serious about my own health and weight loss in anticipation of my wedding and just to be more healthy in general. Anyway, I joined WW online eight weeks ago at the highest weight I've ever been, and I've lost almost 17 pounds in that time!! I'm really, really excited, and I feel so much better, and I wanted to share it with you because I feel like I have you partially to thank :)

That means so much to me! I am so glad that my journey is helping others start on theirs. That doesn't take away from all the hard work that she put in. ALISON lost 17 pounds. SUCCESS!

Does anyone else have any successes to share? I don't care if it's because of this blog or not, we just need to CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES!

Share them with me. jen826@gmail.com

(week 21). CHARMING.

note: I know this is a little late (read: 12 days), but it's better late than never. I would normally skip straight to the present, but this was such a huge milestone, I couldn't NOT add it to the blog.

I. LOST. 25+. POUNDS.

I remember when I first joined WW, a friend told me to expect stickers and charms as incentives for weight loss. I giggled, but she warned that I would come to COVET these trinkets. And when I received my first five pound sticker, I was over the moon. My weight loss was tangible; my success wrapped up in a 1/2" sticker. So now, to get my 25-lb. charm... well, you could imagine my elation!

My leader announced my success to the group, and I couldn't have felt happier. Normally, I shy away from being recognized, but when it comes to WW, I just feel... proud. I did this. 25 pounds. WOW.

It immediately went on my key chain, and serves as a daily reminder that I can make my big goals happen out of my smaller milestones.


My leader, through celebrating my milestone, brought up my blog (hi Linda!). She asked if I had posted my actual weight here. "Not exactly," I answered. I had to wonder why, though. It's not that I hadn't shared my beginning weight SOMEWHERE in this blog, and anyone capable of basic math could figure out where I'm at now. There is just a stigma behind the higher numbers, one that I still seem to avoid.

But no more. This week will be my 23rd week on WW. And lose or gain, I will not only post my pound status, but I will put my actual weight out there. In black and white. Those of you who have ever struggled with weight understand why this is such a big deal. Even still, my new number is SUCH a celebration. Let's celebrate together on Thursday! See you then!

(week 20). workin' my way down.

I wanted to be in a 12/14 by the end of April, and I MADE IT! Here I am in a size 14 pair of jeans... my NEW "skinny me" jeans!

It's crazy to believe that I was an 18/20 just a few months ago. It's not a place I ever wanted to be, and one I don't plan on revisiting any time soon.

Now, I've got my eye on a pair of size 10s for June...

(week 20). i'm not gonna lie...

I gained .06 over the past two weeks. No excuses here, I went on vacation to see my dad, only to come back and be icky sick for a week. Workouts have temporarily been halted, as I continue to cough a lung up (at least it feels that way!). While trying to stick to eating well, there were a few days that I allowed myself a “free pass”. Man, STL has some great food!

Mommy and Noah enjoying our vacation!

But I didn’t totally stray from it all (if I had, I can only IMAGINE the weight I’d have gained). For the most part, I chose sensible meal choices (I won’t mention the cream soda float with a mountain of ice cream, or the awesome ribs I had—TWICE!), opted for water or diet soda and made sure to keep active.

We took Noah to the zoo (he loved) and the Children’s museum (he L-O-V-E-D!), and chased him around the airport, of course.

Noah on his first carousel ride.

Now, being sick for a week now, I’ve really had to just bite the bullet and allow myself to get better. That means a lot of sitting/resting when I get home. No workouts, no over-doing it... Nothing but rest. I used to make fun of people who would complain when they couldn’t work out, but MAN, I’ve been feeling weird and achy without exercise!

I had also been getting super-comfortable with the WW program. So much so, that my food tracking became sporadic. With starting a new WW series today, I’m going back to basics—if it goes in my mouth, it gets jotted down! Here’s what the day has looked like so far:

I’ve been at this almost 5 months, and have lost ALMOST 25 pounds. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come, but am even more excited of where I can take this.

As my WW leader reminds us, we shouldn’t always look at what this week’s scale says, but at what you’ve accomplished so far. She’s so right. Big picture, people!

(NOTE: .06 is NOT bad!)

(week 17). I’m WINNING, DUH!

Yes, I took a page from Charlie Sheen, but if he’s taught me anything this week, it’s that you should be proud of your awesomeness.

And I’m super-proud of MY awesomeness; I’m down over 23 pounds! I’ve got another pound and change to go before I hit my “St. Louis” goal, and I think I can totally do it by next week!

Oh, and I almost forgot! With me not having blogged in a few weeks, I haven’t been able to mention I hit a MAJOR milestone a week or two ago: I hit my 10% goal! That is HUGE for me! It not only shows I’ve been able to stick with something, but that THIS IS WORKING!

I ran into an old co-worker earlier this week. She hadn’t seen me since I had just had the baby, and she was completely taken aback by how I looked. LOL, she said she didn’t even recognize me! I can’t always tell that I’ve lost weight... Sure, my face looks thinner, and my arms and legs aren’t as puffy, but I still look like the me I have in my head. Make sense? Maybe my brain never adjusted to “bigger Jen”. Sure, we’ll go with that.

This whole experience has been so positive; I just need to keep moving forward with it.

Now, what are YOU doing to WIN?!

This key chain is one of my most prized material possessions at the moment.
It represents the 10% I worked so hard to lose, and holds the promise of more to come. WORD.

(week 15.75). why I’m an open book.

For a woman my size, some may find it bizarre that I’m as open as I am about my weight loss journey. So why am I doing it?

For one, I am the kind of person that needs to be held accountable—really accoutable—when it comes to things like this. I am a great self-starter and motivator when it comes to everything EXCEPT food.

When I started weight watchers, I told myself that I needed to be totally honest with myself about eating, portions, exercising... whatever. If I cheated, I was only cheating myself. But really, by getting my friends and family involved, they have served as fellow motivators, keeping me going when I didn’t want to.

Plus, people are naturally curious about life changes. You know it’s true. Look at shows like “Biggest Loser” or “I Used To Be Fat”. So, instead of occasionally posting pictures of a shrinking me, why not keep you all in the loop with WHAT I’m doing?! It’s not that I mind questions from y’all (I love them, and have gotten quite a few of you to commit to losing weight for yourself!), but why not keep it honest?

I think it would be interesting to look back on this experience, and see that it didn’t come easy. I can see my struggles, or my successes. I can see the changes in myself and know WHY I’m doing this. It’s a fascinating thing to have that kind of insight.

And at the end of the day, it’s just my personality to document, document, document. I love writing; it’s my release, my passion and (while not this topic) MY CAREER. I just can’t shut it off, so why fight it?!

(week 15.5). workin' (out) woman.

I took the next step! Instead of just talking about it, I joined the FMCAC (community center) and started working out today.

I was unsure about what types of exercises I'd be up to doing, though. It's been YEARS since I'd worked out last (not counting chasing the baby), and didn't want to get overwhelmed. I learned about a really cool app a month or so ago--Couch to 5K--and am trying that out.

What is Couch to 5K(C25K)? Essentially, it gets lazy bums like me conditioned to do a 5K, in 9 short weeks. It alternates between walking and running commands, and over time, challenges and pushes you to endure the long trek. Plus, you can listen to iPod music and post results to FB, so why WOULDN'T I do it?! LOL

Today was hard to get through, but at least I went, and more importantly, followed through.

I CAN DO THIS!

Want to read more? SUBSCRIBE to my blog!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

(week 15). keepin’ it real... keepin’ it flat...

I weighed in today. Leading up to it, I was so nervous! With Noah’s birthday last weekend (happy birthday, baby boy!), I pigged OUT on cake. I mean, did I honestly expect my tiny 1-year-old to eat the massive cake by himself? The leftovers looked too good, and I couldn’t resist. So yes, I had (at least) one piece of cake every single day for the past WEEK! EEK!

I tried to watch portions otherwise, but I felt my plan slipping away. I stepped on the scale and *gasp * I hadn’t gained! ...I didn’t lose, either, but really, I did good to maintain!

I’m buckling down, though. With just three pounds from my next BIG goal, I need to step it up. And that is why I am taking some time tonight to go sign up for the gym. Nothing fancy, just the basics, but I need something to keep me moving toward my ultimate goal. I’d like to lose about 17 more pounds before the cruise, and that’s in just over two months. I can’t sit around just HOPING it will happen, right? So off my butt I go...

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

(week 13). make progress or make excuses.

The title of my blog is a quote we were left with in today’s WW meeting. According to my leader, she heard it from a Real Estate guru (who’s name escaped her, sorry), but felt that it applies to weight loss. I absolutely agree. I find it encapsulates my journey. Basically, “put up or shut up”... “try or fail”. I’m in this to make progress, and I need to work on not making excuses about my faults. BUT, without an excuse or two, I wouldn’t have a blog, so…

After the past two weeks I’ve had, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was down another 2.6 pounds! (Please know, I did NOT weigh in last week)

After the last weigh-in, I was very focused on the plan. Then Noah got sick. It happened so fast, that it was hard to focus on anything else BUT him (as it should be). He was diagnosed with RSV and pneumonia, and we were admitted to the hospital for a few days (read about it here: http://mamabare.blogspot.com/2011/01/week-from-hell.html).

Now, kids, for what you SHOULDN’T DO on WW. NOTE: while I ultimately had a very successful weigh in, don’t follow this. Basically, “do what I say, not what I do”, got it?

I didn’t count at all. I tried to keep track of SOME things in my head, but for the most part, I said eff it. I managed my portions by sight, and I can tell you now that some were waaaaay off. There was a day or two where I just couldn’t eat, then I found myself wanting to snack on everything! Swedish Fish, Doritos, Crackers, Popcorn, Cookies… if it was in front of me, I wanted it in. my. belly.

I’m sure the stress of it all did a number on me, and I need to work harder on doing this the right way ALL THE TIME.

*end of the bad junk. time to tune back in*

Alex and I are talking about joining a gym, and have it narrowed down to two. We are looking for CHEAP, with child care and exercise equipment, of course… other than that, we don’t really care. Otherwise, I’ll step up my activity level with more walking and the wii. It sounds silly, but playing the wii for even 15 minutes a day can really get you moving!

I love getting messages from all of you, talking about your own experiences with weight loss or WW, so keep them coming! We can all learn from one another! That’s why I’m blogging about this now; it is not only keeping myself accountable, but it’s sharing tips with all of you, and hopefully motivating you to get healthy!

(week 11). nom nom.

This past week, my WW leader challenged us all to track our food. Of course, this is essential to helping the program work, but some get comfortable with the daily routine.

Even I skip tracking a snack or two... But this week, I was diligent with it, and it looks like it paid off: another pound (well, it was almost 1-1/2, but whatever) down!

It’s amazing to see what I end up consuming each day, especially when I compare my eating habits from a year ago. My biggest change, of course, was exchanging Dr. Pepper for his diet counterpart. That saves me up to 16 points each day! (Yes, I was ending up consuming up to 48-oz. each day) I’ve always been into fruit and vegetables, but now, I’m making a conscious effort to pile them on at (almost) every meal! Instead of running out for a hamburger or happy meal, I’m stopping for a salad, or filling up on power foods and packed lunches.

I think the key to my success has been snacking. Whether it’s popcorn, a piece of fruit or drinking a glass of water, I keep myself fueled with bits of food. I even keep point-conscious snacks at my desk, so I’m never without something to munch on.

I have been working on my self-control (one cookie, not two), and I’m succeeding more often than not. Some days get the best of me (last night’s shepard’s pie was calling my name!), but I’m working on it.

But no matter what, if it goes in my mouth, it gets tracked.

I had mentioned to someone my next over-arching goal is to lose 20 pounds in the next three months. Does that sound reasonable to you all? That’s an average of 1-1/2 pounds per week, which is something I think I can do... Thoughts?

WW is a tool I use to help me change my life. Without my drive and motivation to make it work, it wouldn’t. That’s the ultimate key here. If you don’t want it and WORK for it, it simply won’t happen. Work for it with me, people.

(week 10). do a little dance...

In my WW meetings before the holidays, I’d listen as my fellow WWers waxed on about how hard the Christmas season would be. Parties, food, alcohol... All the vices that got us here would come back to haunt in force.

Armed with tactics to get us through, we abandoned our meetings for TWO WEEKS! I promised myself that, while I would eat sensibly and maintain awareness, I would not track points or weigh myself until meetings resumed.

I think there were some moments of doing more than I should (steak and a margarita, and Christmas goodies to boot), but for the most part, I think I did well!

And the scale proved it... I lost 4.6 pounds over the few weeks away! For a girl who’s goal was to simply maintain, that is PHENOMENAL! That puts me at just about 14 pounds down in the 10 weeks, with my next goal—10%—a mere 8 pounds away!

But that’s not the only goal I’m shooting for. In three months, husband and I are going on a cruise. I’d like to see myself lose another 20 by then. Hopefully that’s a decent weight to feel comfortable in a bathing suit again. I haven’t been that size since I got engaged, I think. It’s crazy to think it’s actually attainable, as long as I stay on track!

Also, I’m happy to let you all know that the pedometer is really working out for me. The first two days, I walked an average of 9,000 steps, with me reaching about 11,000 steps yesterday! The number on the screen excites me, pushing me to (legitimately) get it higher. I hope to do 15,000 over the weekend. I can sense a long walk in Noah and mommy’s future...

I have been getting a lot of messages from friends, asking about my experience with WW. All in all, WW has been a super positive thing for me to get into. I’m learning about what I should and shouldn’t eat, all while not depriving myself (like actual diets do). I’m becoming more aware of activity, and pushing the little things I already do in my day to step it up. Most of all, I’m learning to love and appreciate who I am, all while working toward the best, most healthy me possible!

If you find yourself interested in not only losing weight, but becoming a more healthy person, consider joining. It may be hard to get used to tracking your food, but believe me, it’s so worth it. You’ll be amazed at how second nature it will start becoming. I’m not saying I’m there yet, but I’m on my way. Join me.

(week 9.5). particularly pedantic: pedometers

With the start of a new year, I’m trying to step up (pardon the pun, though I’m sure it won’t be the last) my daily activities. My ultimate goal is to reach 10,000 steps each day, and I believe I’m well on my way. Not only do I park fairly far out in the parking garage at work, I am on the third floor. I traipse through the compound from meeting to meeting, then find myself running after a toddler at home... When he runs out of steam, so do I.

Over the weekend, I purchased a pedometer. Nothing fancy—it’s enough to enter my step goal, and count steps and miles trekked—but it’s interesting to see the numbers. Yesterday afternoon, for spending a good amount of time playing with Noah (fairly sedentary), then chasing him around the house and more active playing, I walked 4700 steps. That was about 2.5 miles of walking according to my pedometer.

This morning, in the almost two hours I’ve had it on, I’ve gone 2800 steps, or 1.3 miles. Not too shabby, eh?

I really feel the basis for good health is being being active, so I’m starting with the basics. Make it a point to just get up and move more! Don’t try to carry to much; instead, walk smaller loads back and forth. (This is something I’m particularly living by, thanks to having to tote a baby along) Get out and stroll around! Use the time to breathe and de-stress. Every weekend, Noah and I walk around at least one store. Not only am I able to restock on the few things we need, but it gives us time to get out, change scenery and stretch our legs.

Have you used a pedometer before? What was your experience with it?