the gym, day one.

i went, i saw, i conquered!


i was super proud of myself. not only did i go by myself, i bumped up the speed on the treadmill by .5 mph, rode the bike twice as long, and did 60 sit-ups with 20 pounds on the machine.

oh! a GUY at work asked me if i was losing weight (and meant it in a complementing way) ... how often does that happen (especially since most men are afraid to comment on weight at all)!?

happy monday to me!

emotional eating: an epidemic

i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again:

“my name is jen, and i’m an emotional eater.”

thinking back now, i’ve been dealing with emotional eating for almost ten years. life transitions like moving, my parent’s divorce (hi mom and dad, this is not me blaming you for anything, it’s just something i’ve dealt with), going off to college, getting a job, and yes, even getting married (love you, sweetie) have impacted my thoughts toward food (or lack thereof).

we fill the void whenever we’re depressed, bored, lonely, angry, anxious, frustrated or stressed. we eat just because we can, not necessarily because we need to.

experts estimate that 75% of overeating is caused by emotions.

lol, i’m a statistic.

according to theotherjournal.com, “emotional eating is a very distressing and common problem in America. it affects far more Americans than the more extensively researched eating disorders of anorexia and bulimia. because of the social stigma Americans attach to being overweight and the highly-prized super-thin body, many are ashamed of their emotional eating behaviors and keep them secret. others have engaged in such behaviors for so long that it begins to feel normal.”

a month ago, my erratic eating habits DID feel normal. now, it takes everything i have to NOT succumb to to the pangs.

here are a few tips that have helped me, courtesy of mayoclinic.com:

• learn to recognize true hunger. is your hunger physical or emotional? if you ate just a few hours ago and don't have a rumbling stomach, you're probably not really hungry. give the craving a few minutes to pass.

•know your triggers. for the next several days, write down what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, how you're feeling when you eat and how hungry you are. over time, you may see patterns emerge that reveal negative eating patterns and triggers to avoid.

• look elsewhere for comfort. instead of unwrapping a candy bar, take a walk, treat yourself to a movie, listen to music, read or call a friend. if you think that stress relating to a particular event is nudging you toward the refrigerator, try talking to someone about it to distract yourself. plan enjoyable events for yourself.

• don't keep unhealthy foods around. avoid having an abundance of high-calorie comfort foods in the house. if you feel hungry or blue, postpone the shopping trip for a few hours so that these feelings don't influence your decisions at the store.

• snack healthy. if you feel the urge to eat between meals, choose a low-fat, low-calorie food, such as fresh fruit, vegetables with fat-free dip or unbuttered popcorn. or test low-fat, lower calorie versions of your favorite foods to see if they satisfy your craving.

• eat a balanced diet. if you're not getting enough calories to meet your energy needs, you may be more likely to give in to emotional eating. try to eat at fairly regular times and don't skip breakfast. include foods from the basic groups in your meals. emphasize whole grains, vegetables and fruits, as well as low-fat dairy products and lean protein sources. when you fill up on the basics, you're more likely to feel fuller, longer.

exercise regularly and get adequate rest. your mood is more manageable and your body can more effectively fight stress when it's fit and well rested.

innerself.com has a great chart discerning the difference between emotional and physical hunger.



and here’s a really great quiz via psychologytoday.com that assesses your eating habits. i was pleasantly surprised about my results:

i wonder what it would have been a month ago?

what should you take from this? re-evaluate your eating habits; you may be surprised what you find. you could be one of the many swept up in this eating epidemic.

i've promised complete honesty ...

so here it is.

sticking to this overhaul has been one of the hardest things i've done, especially in the face of personal hardships.

as most of you know, we have a beautiful dog named riley.


we've gone through so much with her ... training, surgeries, emergency room visits, medicines, separation anxiety, chewing ... you name it, we've gone through it with her.

for the past week or two, it's really been too much for us to handle.

we've been discussing our options, including selling the dog.

let's face it, we live in an apartment, and she deserves a yard.

we work all day, and she deserves even more attention than what we can give.

what we DO give her, in abundance, is our love. that's what makes this hard.

last night, i broke down. we thought we had decided (thanks to our pros and cons list), to definitely sell her. then she came and snuggled up next to me, like she always does.

i cried. i shook. i wanted to have fistfuls of chocolate, and about a gallon of dr. pepper. i wanted to not only break my progress, but smash it to little pieces.

i was mad at myself for even considering the thought of selling her.

why couldn't i handle this?

thankfully, we called my mom, and she's going to take her for a few weeks, to allow us the chance to step back and really think about it. she's also going to try her hand at better training her (and giving her a place to run around).

i didn't break the overhaul—i think i would have really regretted it this morning—but settled for sitting by myself and allowing for some "calm down" time instead.

every day is a challenge, but it just goes to show you can make it through. tonight's challenge? driving the six hours to mom's house when alex gets off work (at 7 p.m.) and not having any caffeine.

keep us in your thoughts; more posts to come on monday.

good eats.

last night, i passed the ultimate test.

alex and i went to red lobster.

you know the place ... cheese biscuits, creamy pasta, and butter galore.

my mouth waters just thinking about it.

i wanted nothing more than to sit down with a plate of coconut shrimp, shrimp pasta, and a basket of cheesy, biscuit-y goodness, but i settled for steamed lobster, a few bites of the pasta, and half a biscuit.

top it off with yummy salad and a water, and i was set. i set boundaries for myself, and i surprisingly kept to them. yay me!

here's our lobster and crab mess:


yummy.

(best part? i didn't feel like i deprived myself!)

i wasn't surprised by the weigh-in, especially since i hadn't made it to the gym in a few days, but i'm still very pleased with my results. things are getting smaller. tighter. lovelier.

in the three weeks since starting this whole thing, i've lost six pounds. that equates to this:


wow. all in all, the burger weighs in around nine pounds, but the patty is six. that used to be in my thighs. eww.

btw, i've established a new goal for this week: actually make it to the gym three times this week (at least). oh, and remove the white pasta from my life.

here are a few goals i've already woven into my day-to-day ... try them! (but be prepared to lose, lose, lose!)

1. choose 1 cup skim milk (90 calories) instead of 1 cup whole milk (150 calories).
you save 60 calories a day. do this once a day and save 21,900 calories per year, which is equivalent to 6.25 pounds of weight.

2. choose 6-oz. light, fat-free yogurt (80 calories) instead of 6-oz. full-fat yogurt (double calories, at 190).
do this 4 times a week and save: 22,880 calories per year, or 6.5 pounds of weight.

3. eat three cups of air-popped popcorn (90 calories) instead of 3 cups microwaved caramel popcorn (a whopping 280 calories!)
you will save 190 calories per serving; do this 4 times a week and save 39,520 calories per year. this simple change is equal to losing 11.3 pounds of weight! (i don't really eat popcorn, but if i did, it'd totally be the air-popped kind)

4. take 1 teaspoon of Splenda® (< 5 calories) in your coffee/tea, instead of 1 teaspoon of sugar (16 calories).
you save 11 calories each time. do this 4 times a day and save 16,060 calories per year - the equivalent of 4.5 pounds of weight.

5. also, if you take a brisk 15-minute walk (equivalent to one mile) each day, you'll burn between 100-130 calories each time. over the course of a year, this burns a total of 36,500-47,450 calories, equal to 9.5-12 pounds of weight.

i'm on a mission, and i won't stop until i get there.

week three weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale. again.

and mr. scale says: i've lost 2 pounds!

sorry there's no picture this week; i'm having some technical difficulties.
: (

that brings me down to 200 ... i can't wait to see it go under the terrible twos ...

my apologies ...

i don't think i'll be making much of a post today guys, sorry about that.

we have to take the car to the shop, and i'm not sure how long it'll take.

lol, with all the run-around, at least i'll be getting in some exercise!

tomorrow's the big week three weigh-in ... wish me luck!

i've been linked!

one of my favorite blogs, blog fabulous, LINKED me!

check it out here.

and check her out! tracee is fab.

one step forward, two steps ...

i hate having a desk job.

sit, sit, sit all day with no movement from the waist down.

and other than walking (very minimally) from point a to point b, i don't utilize the greatest exercise opportunity that i have within myself.

i'm working on changing that.

simply increasing the steps you take per day can really have a drastic affect on your life.

according to wendy bumgardner, walking blogger extraordinaire, you should begin by increasing "your pedometer steps by 2000 per day, up to a goal first of 6000 steps per day and eventually to 10,000 steps per day."

be sure to warm up before you walk. you need to wake up your muscles and let them know you'll be needing to use them for awhile. go at an easy pace for 5-10 minutes or so. about.com says "this will tell your muscles they can't just sit back and burn up the available sugars in your body; they need to call on the fat reserves." consider this an exercise primer.

for the next 30-60 minutes, you should walk at a "determined" pace.

(you remember that one time you were late for that one thing, and how you walked as fast as you could to get there? the sense of urgency in your step? yeah, kinda like that.)

i like to use the talk test.

taken from the center for disease control and prevention, the talk test is a simple method of measuring activity intensity. "a person who is active at a light intensity level should be able to sing while doing the activity. one who is active at a moderate intensity level should be able to carry on a conversation comfortably while engaging in the activity. if a person becomes winded or too out of breath to carry on a conversation, the activity can be considered vigorous."

be sure to give your body a cool down time by walking at a slower pace for five minutes. (it's also recommended to finish off your walking excursion with some stretching. i'm not there yet.)

something new i learned today: it is not recommended to add outside weight to your body while walking. if you do, you should add no more than 10 pounds and wear it in a backpack or at your hips so your body can remain balanced and your posture is not thrown off. walking with poor posture or adding weight to your arms or legs can lead to injury.

oops. i occasionally use ankle and wrist weights to add intensity ... this is a no-no now.

even if you don't have time for a regimented exercise plan, try implementing a few of these in your life:

• park your car farther from the store, work, etc.
• use part of your lunch break as a chance to walk around the block (or building)
• take the dog around the block a few times
• (for those in apartments) walk to get your mail or visit the front office
• use a push lawnmower instead of a riding one!
• use the stairs instead of the elevator

and finally, what would an informational post be without calculators?

walking calories calculator

walking calories and distance calculator

pedometer walking calories and distance calculator

go, my friends! take the world by storm!

we can do it, one step at a time.

all pooped out.

it was finally riley's turn on the exercise mat ...

hey! that's not what we use it for!

( it feels like it'd make a good nap mat, though)

now that we've mastered "sit" and "lay", we're moving on to sit-ups.

i've been a bad, bad girl.

i got a couple of suggestions (to help curb some of the stress and anxiety that i've been experiencing through the overhaul) to try slimquick.

stupidly, i did.

i read up on it, and it seemed ok for me to take ...

i had a nifty burst of energy that lasted through part of the day, but around 2, i started to crash. by the time i got home at 4:30, i was miserable.

my head was pounding, i was dizzy, and i felt like throwing up. that feeling got worse as the evening wore on, and is still with me this morning.

i re-read the label last night. fine print: "one serving of this product contains the amount of caffeine equivalent to 2 cups of coffee."

nooooooooooooooooooooo! i had caffeine!!

bad jen, bad.

i knew better. don't depend on pills to help you lose weight. the side effects are just not worth it, no matter how much they're supposed to help you through it.

basket full of temptation.

Easter was a fruitful one, but it wasn't fruit-filled.

it was, however, full of chocolate, peanut butter and krabby patties.



i'm not going to lie. i ate candy.

BUT I DIDN'T OVER-DO IT.

i ate my few pieces, and moved on.

at the rate i'm going, i'll finish the few pieces i have in july sometime.

(isn't my longaberger Easter basket cute?)

oh, and my Easter dress looked fabulous, btw. i'll try to post pictures later.

things that i did this weekend that weren't the best: • not really exercising (other than minor dog walking and some sit-ups)
• eating at steak and shake saturday (and not watching what i ate)
• not eating on my schedule all weekend

things i did this weekend that were the best: • ate my vegetables (especially water-rich salads)
• drank plenty of water
• stayed active (walked around mall, chased little cousin, etc.)

i'm planning on making an appearance at a gym near me this evening. let's hope i make it there.

yes.

i.

can.

:)

i can't believe i'm saying this, but ...

i've decided to participate in a 5K in june!

my overhaul buddy does them (in fact, she has one in a week or two!) and she inspired me to do one, one day.

"should the opportunity present itself," i thought, "i would totally do it."

this morning, opportunity arrived in my weekly work updates.

they created team for the komen north texas race for the cure.

it's in june.

i can't say no.

not only is this a fabulous opportunity for my overhaul, but it's for a cause that i truly believe in. back in 2002 and 2003, i did A LOT of work for breast cancer awareness, and it'll be good to get back to that philanthropy. i'm very excited.

if anyone is interested in sponsoring me (or my team), please visit here.

i've never been an avid walker (much less a runner!), so this will be an interesting challenge for me.

bring it on!!

the pain of beauty ...

... is the beauty that comes from the pain.

i can't even express how sore my tummy is this morning.

i did 250 sit-ups last night.

and 50 push-ups.

and countless stretches.

AND, i did it all while watch LOST.

what can i say? i'm a multi-tasker.

:)

week two weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale.

and mr. scale says: i've lost 1 pound.

i know that's really good, but i still feel kinda like a failure.

there's always next week ...

and of course, the side view (i look thinner, don't i?)

results almost in.

i can tell you're all waiting with baited breath for the results. stay tuned ...

i DID go Easter dress shopping last night. big mistake.

i'm adding this to the rules: do NOT go shopping for new clothes, no matter what the reason, two weeks into the overhaul. you're just going to get discouraged and depressed.

my criteria for the dress was simple: no black. what did i come out with? a black dress. it was the only one that fit/covered me properly.

the problem is my boobs. seriously. it's rare to find anything that actually fits the way it's supposed to on my body.

i'm seriously contemplating a reduction. except it would hurt, and it'd cost money, and i'd look different ... so, maybe not.

there are so many pretty dresses out there, but they're made for women with C cups, regardless of being a size 6 or 16.

maybe the problem isn't me ... it's the stupid designers who make no allowances for women to be DIFFERENT.

yeah, that's it. it's not me, it's them.

either way, don't go shopping yet.

it's evil.

my exercise buddy.

my little girl loves snuggling with me.

apparently, doing sit-ups is no exception.

i was resting between sets when she climbed up and hunkered down for the long haul.

i did my next two sets with an 11-pound dog on my chest.

talk about resistance!

reader reminders

hey everyone,

get my blog updates sent directly to your email, thanks to the nifty "subscribe" box on the left-hand side.

you'll be informed each time i update, making it easier to keep up with it all.

also, please feel free to comment. your words have really been helping me stay motivated, especially knowing i'm not alone on this journey.

discouraged?!

i'm concerned about tomorrow's weigh in. i've done all i can do, but i'm scared it won't be enough.

i just have to get through it, and push myself to keep going.

i can do this.

things i've noticed so far about myself:

• i have sexy ankles
• my not puffy legs are pretty
• my skin glows
• my tummy has gotten (a little) smaller
• i carry myself better

even if i don't lose another pound (which is really not an option, but here's my pep-talk to self), i've made several positive changes that make this whole thing worth it.

... and the motivation is back ...

bring on the scale!

water-logged.

there's been someone new in my life. we do practically everything together. some say we're inseparable.

friends, meet mr. bottle.

this rubbermaid® container brings me milk in the morning, and water the rest of the day.

the measure marks on the side helps mix the perfect flavored water concoction.

the fact that it's reusable really appeals to my "green" side.

mostly, though, i love it because it keeps me hydrated and healthy.

i can't say this enough: that bottle (and more importantly, what's in it) is one of the most important things i'm committed to during my overhaul.

water makes up more than two-thirds of the weight of the human body. basically, without water, humans would die in a few days—all the cells and organs need water to function.

of course, not everyone likes water. most people prefer sodas, fruit juices, sports drinks, coffee and others. according to nutritionist andrea dunn, all these drinks can help quench your body’s thirst for fluids to an extent, but they typically contain 100 calories or more per serving.

"the best alternatives to water are diluted fruit juices, non-fat or skim milk and diet soft drinks," dunn explains. "but these drinks shouldn’t supplant water. take note of how much sugar is in these alternatives. sugar slows down the rate at which fluid is absorbed into the body. If you have trouble drinking water because you don’t like the taste, try adding a twist of lemon or lime or a splash of fruit juice. and cold water tastes better."

according to this diet wiki,
"all people should consume a minimum of 64 ounces a day, and many people drink as much as two gallons daily with no ill effects. a person who is overweight should drink an additional 8 ounces for every 25 pounds over his ideal weight. intake should be spread over the course of a day ... drinking too much of any liquid at one time will make a person very ill."

another way to figure how much h2o to consume: take your current weight, and divide it by two. in my case, i'm supposed to consume about 100-oz. of water a day.

here's a hydration calculator that'll help you figure it out, based on various health conditions.

an interesting tidbit i picked up from the calculator: when eating a healthy diet (which i am), up to 20% of your water intake may come from the foods eaten. that puts me down to an average intake of 82-oz. a day.

TIP: eat water-rich fruits and veggies, like watermelon, oranges and leafy vegetables.

surprisingly, it hasn't been hard to meet or exceed that.

each morning, i drink 16-20-oz. of skim milk, followed by 20-oz. from mr. bottle, times three.

in the evening, i drink another two 16-oz. glass-fulls of flavored water, and i'm set.

i also try to incorporate a few servings of water-rich foods into my diet as well.

you do the math.

PLEASE NOTE: in very rare cases, people who consume too much water may develop hyponatremia. essentially, your kidneys become overwhelmed at the amount of water it's trying to process while your natural salt levels drop below normal. it's commonly seen among long-range athletes who don't replenish other nutrients. get more information on that here.

sure, i feel bloated a bit more than i had before, but i don't look it. my ankles are actually skinny again. my skin looks amazing.

if you can do nothing else in your own overhaul, do water.

trust me.

liquid courage. nature's nectar. pint. cold one.

in honor of st. patrick's day, i bring you a story about beer.

note: i don't drink. that's not to say that i haven't or won't, but i've found that most drinks taste like old feet or bitter grossness. (plus, why pay for a slight buzz that is inevitably followed by a headache?)

however, i know that most of you (including my husband) indulge in a "tip back" every now and then, so this is for you.

there are honest-to-goodness benefits to drinking beer! studies have revealed that beer can produce the same benefits as drinking wine. whether you prefer ales, lagers, stout, bitter or wheat beers, studies show that one drink a day for women or up to two drinks a day for men will reduce your chances of strokes, heart and vascular disease.

alcohol has also been attributed of its ability to increase the amount of good cholesterol (HDL) into the bloodstream as well as help to decrease blood clots.

fabulous, no?

here are some more facts on the brew: (courtesy of essortment.com)

• it is nutritious if consumed in moderation
• it's s fat-free and cholesterol free
• beer has a relaxing effect on the body thereby reducing stress
• it helps you sleep better
• alcohol helps prevent heart disease and improves the blood circulation
• it's proven to have positive effects on elderly people.
• lastly, it helps to promote blood vessel dilation, sleep, and urination

even thomas jefferson believed in the power of swill: "beer, if drank in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health."

some interesting reads:

eight reasons to drink beer

not all diets are the same; the author of this one lost 114 pounds of fat, while still enjoying his drink.

respect beer.

how many calories are in your favorite brewskie?

sure, i pointed out some of the positives to slamming back a drink or two a day, but that doesn't mean you should go out and get "boozed up!" moderation is key. something more to think about: excess drinking has been associated with an increased risk of several serious health ailments, such as cancer, high blood pressure and liver disease.

also, for all you under-agers out there, please don't drink until you're of age. alcohol may have it's health benefits, but partaking prematurely could lead to stunted growth or other health conditions that you don't need to deal with yet.

drink responsibly, today and always! happy st. patty's day!

clawing my way through ...

i think i'm at a critical point in the overhaul. i've been doing this just long enough to see a difference in myself, as well as really getting used to the "new" foods and exercise.

the downside is that i find part of me trying to persuade the other part of me to cheat.

"it's just one soda, it won't hurt," i say. "no one's home, and no one would know..."

"and what about those cookies? you know you want one."

the rational side of me knows that one could turn into many, if i'm not careful. thankfully, that side of me won. operation: cheat thwarted.

lol, i feel like i'm in an overeater anonymous meeting:

"hi, my name is jen, and i'm an emotional eater.

it's a hard thing to admit, but i'm slowly coming to terms with that. i'm also working on curbing my anxious tendencies to reach for food when i get sad/mad/overwhelmed.

today, i just wanted to sit down with a bag of apple-os (or cookies, or soda, or ice cream ...) and make my frustrations go away. so far, i've downed about 50-oz. of lipton's white tea to go instead.

it's getting harder, you guys. these are the bad days i told you about.

the dog is in for another surgery, it's costing hundreds more than we were told, and to top it all off, i lost my keys.

(thankfully, alex found them under a stack of mail this afternoon, but still.)

anyone else have these kinds of struggles? any words of wisdom you can impart?

walking outside + bitey bugs = no fun

i love walking. it's a very calming experience that, done in the right setting, can take all your cares away.

just stop, and breathe in the air ... mmmmmmm ... *OUCH!*

i guess my love of nature stops at the pretty trees and beautiful sky. i HATE the little bugs that delight in a feast of my flesh.

we ended up walking almost three miles, and i did the whole thing in shorts and a t-shirt.

bite me once, shame on me. bite me twice ... well, you know.

i've already got my wardrobe picked out: turtleneck, long pants and a hoodie.

did i mention it's supposed to be in the high 80s this weekend?

this is going to be an interesting weekend.

... as a side note ...

i am super proud of myself: i was faced with a soda machine (the first time since i quit) and i DIDN'T take any. at all. and i was tempted. a lot. (i swear i heard dr. pepper call for me ... i'm probably just hallucinating.)

jen's willpower is coming back!

eat on time!

over the years, i've really struggled with what weight loss plans would work for me.

most of the time, it would deal with me focusing on a particular food group or type (the salad diet, the slim fast diet, the protein diet) or just eating once or twice a day.

looking back, i know that those were bad decisions for my body. even if i lost a few pounds, it was almost always short-lived. my body would begin to crave the things i cut out, and before i knew it, i was binge-eating. not to mention, i was depriving myself of the needed nutrients to function!

this time around, i decided to eat on a schedule—every two hours or so—without fail.

when you schedule your meals (and follow it), you're providing your body with an ongoing supply of nutrient-dense calories, keeping yourself on an even-keel.

"A steady supply of glucose is your body and brain's primary source of fuel," says Ellie Krieger, M.S., R.D., author of Small Changes, Big Results. "If stores get too low, you might get that foggy feeling before you even feel hungry."

the trick is to eat five or six mini meals each day.

i eat at 8, 10, 12, 2, 4, and 6.

sure, it varies slightly due to my schedule, but i really try to stick to that.

and after dinner, i cut off the food intake. i try to not eat after 7 p.m., if i can help it.

NOTE: i'm not giving into the "food turns into fat after X p.m." hype, but i do find that i do most of my "bored binging" then. by setting a limit for myself, i can consciously tell myself no, and have a reason why.


each night (begrudgingly—i'm so lazy) i make the next day's meals, except for dinner. a sample day goes something like this:

• 8 a.m.: 4-oz. fat free yogurt, homemade granola and 16-20-oz. skim milk
• 10 a.m.: granola bar
• 12 p.m.: two chicken sandwiches, yogurt, fruit slices
• 2 p.m.: 100 calorie snack pack
• 4 p.m.: granola bar
• 6 p.m.: speghetti with salad
• all day: 60-80-oz. of water or crystal light

i really try to focus on the uber-healthy meals during the day, and have a "normal" meal at night.

strange how virtually starving myself had no results, but practically gorging myself does!

what a lovely overhaul this is ....

are we there yet?

dear caffeine,

i'm breaking up with you. i'm sorry to do it so suddenly, but it's for our own good. please believe me when i say this: it's not you, it's me. i just couldn't handle your yummy-ness for another day.

i will always remember the good times, like the delectable cherry dr. pepper from sonic, or cherry cokes at my 8th birthday party. remember those root beer floats at parties, or diet pepsi at lunch? i know i do.

you'll go on without me. there are so many other people out there, waiting for everything you have to offer.

love,
me

p.s. WHY am i doing this again?



... oh yeah. it turns out that a lot of my health issues could be stemming from my daily "inhalation" of these tasty beverages (and chocolate).

according to health.org, while many people feel that caffeine increases their mental alertness, higher doses of caffeine can cause anxiety, dizziness, headaches, heart palpitations, ulcers, acid reflux, muscle twitching and the jitters. it can also interfere with normal sleep.

i'm particularly concerned about this little tidbit: "caffeine may also cause the body to lose calcium, and that can lead to bone loss over time. drinking caffeine-containing soft drinks and coffee instead of milk can have an even greater impact on bone density and the risk of developing osteoporosis. if you are stressed or anxious, caffeine can make these feelings worse."

well, it's a good thing i'm stopping, right?

maybe the anxiety will finally come down a few notches?!

it doesn't feel like it.

five full days "sober", and i feel like crap. i'm still waiting for my body to reset.

i quit cold turkey. i really don't recommend that method. every day is a crash for me.

according to wikipedia, a "caffeine crash" will cause headaches, nausea, fatigue and drowsiness. it will also cause anxiety, irritability, inability to concentrate and diminished motivation to initiate or complete daily tasks. in extreme cases it may cause mild depression." seriously? i should have just stayed on the wagon!

you know what? even with all that, i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. we're going to get there after all.

week one weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale.

and mr. scale says: i've lost 3 pounds!!

for my first week, i think i did pretty well.

here's a picture of the side view. we have a lot to lose.

... and we're off!

i hate the word "diet." when the first three letters are telling you you're going to meet your death, how are you supposed to stay positive about doing it?

i'm doing so much more than dieting; i'm doing is an entire lifestyle overhaul.

i started six days ago with my friends by my side. i have an online overhaul buddy that keeps me in check each day (and vice versa). my best friend is working out with me again. my husband is eating healthier with me.

so far, so good.

i'm not expecting huge numbers on the scale tomorrow, but i'm hoping to see some movement in the downward direction.

fingers crossed, everyone.

at the starting line.

being thin is something i always was, until i wasn't. looking back, it feels like it happened overnight, but i know it didn't. it took years of creeping up on me.

it really started five years ago. i was coming down off of an impressively busy year at college, while gearing up for going away to another college in texas. i went to school and worked, but never thought about working out. i ate quick meals whenever i could catch them, mostly really late at night.

i drank dr. pepper like it was going out of style. i had a love affair with chocolate.

my first year in texas saw way more than the "freshman 15" advertises. ... and it hasn't stopped.

while i tried to eat well and exercise some, i couldn't get myself on a schedule. i would eat at midnight, because that's the only time i had. i would get sad or stressed, and snacked away.

through the years, i've tried weight loss programs, diet pills, gyms, personal trainers and a plethora of diets. some worked, some didn't. when i succeeded, however, it was always short-lived. i would have a "bad day"—whether it was getting a cold, have a flat tire, etc.—and quit.

i can't quit anymore. that's not an option.

suddenly, i'm the fat girl. i'm THAT girl. i was never her.

it's taking a toll on my health, my social skills and my anxiety.

i say NO MORE!

i will take charge of my life. i will embrace all that i am, and make who i know i can be a reality.

here's how:
• cut out caffeine.
• cut out most sugary treats (although i won't say i'll do it completely)
• eat healthy
• eat on a schedule!
• more milk
• more water
• more exercise!
• constant motivation

i will elaborate on each of these in the days to come, and provide some helpful tips on how you can implement them into YOUR life as well.

i will always be honest with you, so please be honest with me. if you read, please leave feedback. i am starting this blog to get the added motivation i need to stay on track. i can't do this without you!

i leave you with the specs:
height: 5'6"
last week's weigh-in: 206
bmi: 33.1

that's not good, people. i've never been above 200. let the journey begin...