finding my way in a sea of temptation.

i didn't do too well this weekend, but i'm getting back on-track today.

i ended up eating things that i shouldn't have.

and yes, i even drank a few fruity cocktails.

my "excuse" is that our friend came into town, and we celebrated.


and despite the tone of this post, i have no regrets for anything i consumed. : )

i'm working through this life change ... it just gets harder as you go on.

OH! i made it to work out this evening, and even signed up for boot camp.

they couldn't tell me much yet (as they're still developing the classes), but it would be for eight weeks. and it would kick my butt. i'm kinda excited about it ... but even more terrified.

lol, i'm off to make more granola. (i truly believe that my overhaul depends on that crunchy goodness!)

relapse.

you know how most job sites have those "accident free since ..." signs? well, this site needs one, too.

"binge-free since april 2nd."

i was doing so well with everything ... until yesterday.

first of all, i didn't make it to the gym (my mouth was in serious pain, and i just couldn't make it. totally understandable, but personally disappointing)

secondly, my mom had made alex and i some DELICIOUS little muffins to bring home last week. in my favorite flavor: cranberry.

throughout the day, i had seven. SEVEN!

oh, emotional eating, you got me again!

*NOTE: i only ate two fat-free yogurts, a small salad and a fresco burrito, but that doesn't matter. it was the act of eating without knowing or recognizing my limits.*

why?!

i miss my dog. i'm tired. i'm overwhelmed by our messy apartment. i had to go to the dentist. i was in pain.

i'm not excusing my behavior, but recognizing it so i can move on. i had a fabulously delicious cheat, and despite how mad i am at myself, i just need to move on.

i can fail. i can succeed. the choice is my own.

today, i continue to choose success, even in the midst of my stumbles.

i can't let this get me down!

clawing my way through ...

i think i'm at a critical point in the overhaul. i've been doing this just long enough to see a difference in myself, as well as really getting used to the "new" foods and exercise.

the downside is that i find part of me trying to persuade the other part of me to cheat.

"it's just one soda, it won't hurt," i say. "no one's home, and no one would know..."

"and what about those cookies? you know you want one."

the rational side of me knows that one could turn into many, if i'm not careful. thankfully, that side of me won. operation: cheat thwarted.

lol, i feel like i'm in an overeater anonymous meeting:

"hi, my name is jen, and i'm an emotional eater.

it's a hard thing to admit, but i'm slowly coming to terms with that. i'm also working on curbing my anxious tendencies to reach for food when i get sad/mad/overwhelmed.

today, i just wanted to sit down with a bag of apple-os (or cookies, or soda, or ice cream ...) and make my frustrations go away. so far, i've downed about 50-oz. of lipton's white tea to go instead.

it's getting harder, you guys. these are the bad days i told you about.

the dog is in for another surgery, it's costing hundreds more than we were told, and to top it all off, i lost my keys.

(thankfully, alex found them under a stack of mail this afternoon, but still.)

anyone else have these kinds of struggles? any words of wisdom you can impart?