hello again. remember me?

first of all, i'm back! it's been a crazy few weeks, but things have finally settled down enough for me to drop you all a line.

where did we leave off? oh yes — riley.

she has been settling in well. we're all still adjusting to our new schedule, but overall, we're doing great. alex and i are so proud of how far she's come in the past six weeks!

and when i'm not spending my time watching/continuing to train her, i'm working. a lot.

with that said, it's been really difficult to find the time to work out (or blog). i made it to the gym a couple of times (seriously, just two) since signing off.

my logic? well, i walk the dog every day, so that counts, right?

apparently not. i'm back up to 201.

in retrospect, i didn't watch what i ate as well as i thought i did. with alex's birthday and traveling, we ate out more than normal. (and did i mention cake? there was an abundance of cake!) i didn't shy away from pastas (although i'm still avoiding red meat and pork, for the most part) ... i drank caffeine. if there was one "let down," it would be that.

now that i'm back, it's time to get on track with things.

my new goal? work out EVERY morning before work. (fallback plan: if i miss my morning workout, i can make it up when i get off work)

and given my "type A" personality, i've decided to multitask during my 30-minute workout. instead of just listening to music, counting down the seconds until i'm done, i'll be reading all the books i want to read, but don't have time for. HAH, two birds with one stone!

(i did this for "the last lecture" — it really helped to pass the time!)

i am ready to feel better. i am ready to look better. i am ready to lose weight.

i've promised complete honesty ...

so here it is.

sticking to this overhaul has been one of the hardest things i've done, especially in the face of personal hardships.

as most of you know, we have a beautiful dog named riley.


we've gone through so much with her ... training, surgeries, emergency room visits, medicines, separation anxiety, chewing ... you name it, we've gone through it with her.

for the past week or two, it's really been too much for us to handle.

we've been discussing our options, including selling the dog.

let's face it, we live in an apartment, and she deserves a yard.

we work all day, and she deserves even more attention than what we can give.

what we DO give her, in abundance, is our love. that's what makes this hard.

last night, i broke down. we thought we had decided (thanks to our pros and cons list), to definitely sell her. then she came and snuggled up next to me, like she always does.

i cried. i shook. i wanted to have fistfuls of chocolate, and about a gallon of dr. pepper. i wanted to not only break my progress, but smash it to little pieces.

i was mad at myself for even considering the thought of selling her.

why couldn't i handle this?

thankfully, we called my mom, and she's going to take her for a few weeks, to allow us the chance to step back and really think about it. she's also going to try her hand at better training her (and giving her a place to run around).

i didn't break the overhaul—i think i would have really regretted it this morning—but settled for sitting by myself and allowing for some "calm down" time instead.

every day is a challenge, but it just goes to show you can make it through. tonight's challenge? driving the six hours to mom's house when alex gets off work (at 7 p.m.) and not having any caffeine.

keep us in your thoughts; more posts to come on monday.

all pooped out.

it was finally riley's turn on the exercise mat ...

hey! that's not what we use it for!

( it feels like it'd make a good nap mat, though)

now that we've mastered "sit" and "lay", we're moving on to sit-ups.

my exercise buddy.

my little girl loves snuggling with me.

apparently, doing sit-ups is no exception.

i was resting between sets when she climbed up and hunkered down for the long haul.

i did my next two sets with an 11-pound dog on my chest.

talk about resistance!