i'm not dead.

hi everyone,

sorry for the slight hiatus. it may continue for the next few days.

where have i been? well, we ended up taking a last-minute trip up to kansas to get riley a week early. (alex's work had some scheduling screw-ups)

needless to say, we're thrilled to have her back, but we're taking the next few days to get back on a decent schedule. (rather, getting US on a decent schedule; mom did an excellent job on riley while she was there)

oh, lol, the highlight of my week came when i finally got her to go to the bathroom outside ... i'm so sad. : )

with all of the craziness, i'm still finding time to eat decent, and even though i'm not making it to the gym, i'm more than making up with it on my puppy walks.

so again, i apologize for my absence, but i really need to do this.

(and no worries, i'll be back in a day or two!)

thanks for understanding,
--jen

week seven weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale. again.

and mr. scale says: i've lost a big, fat zero! AGAIN!

despite my discouragement, the doctor told me it was normal to level out for a few weeks.

it's just time to kick it all into high gear ...

starting next week, i'm going to get SERIOUS about the workouts.

seriously.

happy earth day.

in honor of Earth day, i've decided to blog about the health of our planet.

here are 10 ideas for saving energy and otherwise cutting down on your impact on the planet.

1. change light bulbs. seriously. a highly efficient compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs) lasts for years, use a quarter of the energy of regular bulbs and actually produce more light.

2. drive differently, drive less, or drive a different vehicle. self-explanatory, really.

3. control your temperature. add two degrees to the AC thermostat in summer, and two degrees in winter. if everyone did this, the cumulative impact is significant. other ideas? clean your vents and change the filters regularly. and if you're really brave, avoid the AC altogether.

4. tame the refrigerator monster. turn on your "energy saver" switch near the thermostat. clean the condenser coil. this one, very simple thing can improve the efficiency of your refrigerator by a third!

5. twist some knobs. some other household "energy sucker uppers" include your hot water heater, your washer and dryer, and your dishwasher. some common sense ideas (wait until you have a full load, don't use the pre-rinse setting in the dishwasher, don't use HOT water — use warm — when washing clothes) will help you conserve a lot.

6. plant smartly. do everything you can in your yard and garden to create ways in which plants use less water. choose hardier plants, plant things in groups that need more water and put in mulch to help keep moisture in.

7. invest in green energy. the future is in renewable sources — solar panels, geothermal and wind power sources. also, if you invest, invest in green stocks and renewable energy companies through socially responsible funds. they perform just as well (if not better) than all of the unfiltered funds.

8. go organic. just remember this next time you eat your veggies: most American farmers still spray a billion pounds of pesticides to protect crops each year. do you really want to ingest that?!

9. buy recycled (and recycle). it takes less energy to manufacture a recycled product than a brand new one. wow. PLUS, recycled is often considerably cheaper than non-recycled, so it's cost-effective as well as conservation-minded. just look for the recyclable logo!

10. be a minimalist. essentially, the less you buy, the more you save energy-wise. no-brainer concept, but sometimes difficult to follow.

good luck going green!

swollen knees slow you down.

well, my knee has been the size of a grapefruit since saturday. haven't been able to do much of anything since then.

that's discouraging me more than anything. i want to use the treadmill and bike already!

oh, what setbacks!

week six weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale. again.

and mr. scale says: i've gained a half pound (up to 199, for those who couldn't tell).

i'm glad that's all i've gained.

i didn't work out at all. (mostly because i couldn't see straight for a few days)

i had those yummy caramel eggs.

i've been in a weird funk.

oh, and i've been super-busy at work!

(enough excuses yet?)

i just have to try better next week.

now, i just have to find my motivation again.

i can't see.

thanks to the power of allergies, my eyes were swollen and icky today.

i had to stay home.

the swelling is down, but the burning dry feeling remains.

hence, no real post. sorry friends!

p.s. i cheated so bad today. you know those really tiny cadburry eggs? throughout the day, i had 12. (yes, i know! it's horrible! i didn't even realize!!!)

not too much to say ...

we did discover the fundamental difference between instant rice, and regular rice ... the amount of water used.

we've cooked rice several times since switching over. it used to be one cup of rice to one cup of water.

normal rice, not so much.

for one cup of rice, it takes 2-1/2 cups of water.

no WONDER it's been so crunchy.

lol, alex has always been in charge of rice (the rice cooker is so darn fun!) and i guess he didn't really realize there was a difference (neither did i, really).

we're always learning!

other random thoughts:

"the eating every few hours" thing is beginning to taper off. not sure if that's a good thing or not. i don't want to force things in me "just because."

plus, the past few days i've been feeling really bloated, so why add to that?!

i'm craving wha?!

so, i was just sitting there, and i felt a rum-bly in my tum-bly.

"time to eat again," i thought.

what did my body tell me to eat?

SALAD!

all weekend, SALAD!

not because i had to, but because it is GOOD!

not to worry, i'm not turning into a rabbit.

alex and i decided to extend our menu to fish.

it looks good, doesn't it?


and here's our fresh green beans and fresh mushrooms ... mmmm ...


lastly, we got some raw almonds to snack on, but decided it was a bit too plain for us. so we roasted them in our homemade granola sauce.


btw, i gave ground turkey another shot last week (via our spaghetti). it was the BEST ever!

eating is fun again!

eat this, not that

i just picked up a copy of "eat this, not that" by david zinczenko.

it's got lots of pretty pictures.


more importantly, it's got awesome information (what to eat at the mall, what dressings are best for salads, etc.) that helps you through the day in a sea of potential cheats.

i'll share some of the highlights in the days to come, i'm sure!

week five weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale. again.

and mr. scale says: i've lost a big, fat zero!

yeah, i kind of expected that to happen.

i picked up the pace the last half of the week, but i guess that just helped keep me from gaining.


oh well. i did my best.

let's go, week number six!

totally off the overhaul topic, but ...

i wanted to share randy pausch with you all.

(even though i'm sure most of you have already heard of him)

profound. inspiring.

things that i've noticed over the past five weeks.

my skin is clearer.

my arms are smaller.

my ankles aren't swollen.

my thighs are shrinking.

i have a collarbone again.

my chins are going away.

oh! i have cheekbones again!


my nails aren't chipping as much.

my feet are shrinking.

my small pants fit!

(lastly, alex swears that my boobs are getting bigger ... truth is, my waist is getting smaller!)

i'm finally starting to see some small changes ... what a motivator!

do i really want to wake up to THIS?

i signed up for boot camp yesterday.

technically, i guess, i signed up to be called about the possibility of joining the gym's new boot camp program ... when they figure out how to pull it all together.

(details, details)

i digress.

i keep going back and forth with it in my head.

first of all, let's explain exactly what boot camp is.

"boot camp workouts are efficient because you work your entire body — heart and muscles — by going from one exercise to another with no rest. the workouts involve calisthenics like push-ups, jumping jacks, crunches and other body weight exercises...the difference lies in the intensity. In boot camp, your challenge is to take your body to its limit. you work, you sweat and, best of all, you burn calories like crazy." —about.com

i've had friends do boot camp-style workouts and they tell me it's just plain grueling, especially if you're not already in half-way decent shape.

i ache already. can you imagine how much pain i'd be in if i went through with it?

at the same time, can i imagine working through the pain to find my happy "pain-free" place?

i decided to make a pros and cons list, to help me decide.

pros:
challenging (and who doesn't like a challenge sometimes?)
definite calorie burner (yay)
increases energy, strength and endurance (yay, yay, yay)
decreases body fat and inches (they tell me an average of 3-5% fat lost ... i'm down with that)

cons:
really early (an insomniac needs her sleep!)
tons of people (anxiety kicks in)
(overly) intense (just plain scares me)
someone yelling at me lots (duh)

... as of this moment, the pros have won me over.

tomorrow may be a different story, though.

hah, i'm such a scared-y cat!

finding my way in a sea of temptation.

i didn't do too well this weekend, but i'm getting back on-track today.

i ended up eating things that i shouldn't have.

and yes, i even drank a few fruity cocktails.

my "excuse" is that our friend came into town, and we celebrated.


and despite the tone of this post, i have no regrets for anything i consumed. : )

i'm working through this life change ... it just gets harder as you go on.

OH! i made it to work out this evening, and even signed up for boot camp.

they couldn't tell me much yet (as they're still developing the classes), but it would be for eight weeks. and it would kick my butt. i'm kinda excited about it ... but even more terrified.

lol, i'm off to make more granola. (i truly believe that my overhaul depends on that crunchy goodness!)

week four weigh-in: results

well, the time has come to step on the scale. again.

and mr. scale says: i've lost 1.5 pounds!

that's right, folks, i'm BELOW 200 POUNDS!

yay me! 198.5!!

(the side view wasn't really working out for any of us, so enjoy incredibly shrinking face shots!)

i think my gym goal should remain ... three days this week.

equipment to try? elliptical. the thing intimidates me (not to mention feels so weird to do), but i'm going to try to use it.

i'm not really noticing a difference in how my clothes fit, but i'm sure that'll come in time.

i DO notice that the weight is shifting, and stretch marks are starting to appear. i'm all jiggly now.

overall, a really good week. let's go number five!

relapse.

you know how most job sites have those "accident free since ..." signs? well, this site needs one, too.

"binge-free since april 2nd."

i was doing so well with everything ... until yesterday.

first of all, i didn't make it to the gym (my mouth was in serious pain, and i just couldn't make it. totally understandable, but personally disappointing)

secondly, my mom had made alex and i some DELICIOUS little muffins to bring home last week. in my favorite flavor: cranberry.

throughout the day, i had seven. SEVEN!

oh, emotional eating, you got me again!

*NOTE: i only ate two fat-free yogurts, a small salad and a fresco burrito, but that doesn't matter. it was the act of eating without knowing or recognizing my limits.*

why?!

i miss my dog. i'm tired. i'm overwhelmed by our messy apartment. i had to go to the dentist. i was in pain.

i'm not excusing my behavior, but recognizing it so i can move on. i had a fabulously delicious cheat, and despite how mad i am at myself, i just need to move on.

i can fail. i can succeed. the choice is my own.

today, i continue to choose success, even in the midst of my stumbles.

i can't let this get me down!

the gym, day two.

bleh.

i've been a virtual zombie most of the day — doing my job, but dead to the world.

the whole way home, the devilish half of myself kept saying to spend the evening on the couch.

thankfully, the smarter side (i won't say angelic) won.

her argument? screw getting exercise! [you] can't let myself or my readers down, and cheating and lying about it is out of the question ...

so i went for day two this week!

here's me walking in, still unsure about the decision ...


and me walking my butt off. i'll never get a good picture while actively moving — sorry!


despite having to coerce myself in during the hard times, this whole thing is really working for me.

p.s. yes, sara, i'm wearing a tank top. i know! i'm branching out! (it's definitely better than the hoodie!)

me, then and now.

first of all, forgive the bad hair.

here is me in at 18. i was about 132-135 (my lowest "adult" weight).


sometimes, this body is what i think i look like — until i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

i don't think 132 is a good place for my body to be, but this look is my goal (sans the hair). this is what i picture in my mind when i want to get healthy and thin.

here i am today at 25 (and-a-half, thank you very much). there's about 65 pounds of difference.


when you think about it, i've gained 75 pounds in 8 years. not to mention all the fluctuations i've experienced ...

i want to have my perception of myself match the true vision of myself.

this journey may be long, but at least i'm traveling it.