clawing my way through ...

i think i'm at a critical point in the overhaul. i've been doing this just long enough to see a difference in myself, as well as really getting used to the "new" foods and exercise.

the downside is that i find part of me trying to persuade the other part of me to cheat.

"it's just one soda, it won't hurt," i say. "no one's home, and no one would know..."

"and what about those cookies? you know you want one."

the rational side of me knows that one could turn into many, if i'm not careful. thankfully, that side of me won. operation: cheat thwarted.

lol, i feel like i'm in an overeater anonymous meeting:

"hi, my name is jen, and i'm an emotional eater.

it's a hard thing to admit, but i'm slowly coming to terms with that. i'm also working on curbing my anxious tendencies to reach for food when i get sad/mad/overwhelmed.

today, i just wanted to sit down with a bag of apple-os (or cookies, or soda, or ice cream ...) and make my frustrations go away. so far, i've downed about 50-oz. of lipton's white tea to go instead.

it's getting harder, you guys. these are the bad days i told you about.

the dog is in for another surgery, it's costing hundreds more than we were told, and to top it all off, i lost my keys.

(thankfully, alex found them under a stack of mail this afternoon, but still.)

anyone else have these kinds of struggles? any words of wisdom you can impart?

walking outside + bitey bugs = no fun

i love walking. it's a very calming experience that, done in the right setting, can take all your cares away.

just stop, and breathe in the air ... mmmmmmm ... *OUCH!*

i guess my love of nature stops at the pretty trees and beautiful sky. i HATE the little bugs that delight in a feast of my flesh.

we ended up walking almost three miles, and i did the whole thing in shorts and a t-shirt.

bite me once, shame on me. bite me twice ... well, you know.

i've already got my wardrobe picked out: turtleneck, long pants and a hoodie.

did i mention it's supposed to be in the high 80s this weekend?

this is going to be an interesting weekend.

... as a side note ...

i am super proud of myself: i was faced with a soda machine (the first time since i quit) and i DIDN'T take any. at all. and i was tempted. a lot. (i swear i heard dr. pepper call for me ... i'm probably just hallucinating.)

jen's willpower is coming back!